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Cigar Box:

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, are you comfortable enough in your manhood to bite the tips off one of these? Sigmund Frueds Box of cocks. Finest grade cigars."

I want to do a long song album with a band one day that sings lovingly to known toxic chemicals in consumer goods.

Oh my love poly(ethylene),

who bends and shapes hot or cold

<3

Ahhh mission accomplished.  I was feeling a little down earlier so I went out and entertained myself.  I spent 30 dollars and hired a few local homeless guys for a few hours.  One threw paper flower pedals in front of me while I marched downtown from the big new library and through downtown and back to the indian resturant.  He carried a sign I hade that said "Duty now: for the future!"  I had 2 of the others follow behind me and yell "I'm shouting!" whenever I gave them a hand signal and "SHOUT" when I did another (they got it well on their own later).  I then yelled a song repeatedly during all 45 minutes of this operation.  Here are the lyrics for Devo - Shout.  I made sure my body language was as threatening as I could be, but making sure to sing only in a monotone robot voice.  Some fled me, some kinda hid on the other side of a tree.  The guys really appreciated such an easy 10 dollars.

Shout shout

i'm shoutin' about the world outside
i'm shoutin' because you just can't hide
i'm shoutin' from the plain honest truth
i'm shoutin' there's so much we could do

Shout i'm shoutin' shoutin' shoutin'

I'm shoutin' because it's hard to believe
i'm shoutin' it's so easy to see
i'm shoutin' we're waitin' for a reply
i'm shoutin' for the very last time

shout well baby this one's for you
shout for everything that you do
shout until the battle is won
shout we'll live to fight on and on

and when you add it all together
and when you roll it in a ball
and when you watch another pyramid
as it's about to fall
remember you were there
remember if you care
all those who held their ground
when it all came down
said shout shout

shout it out

 Though I'm having trouble raising rent this month, I still think it was a fine investment. Next time we will use kazoos.

Objective: to build myself a website using drupal

I am on week 2, about hour 5, and I currently have an opening page in the editing stage, and a menu with broken links to pages that aren't working.

This really isn't as easy as Alex made it sound.

Alex, you are a genious to be able to build this really complex Mother-Of-All-Websites.

I surrender.  I am not very smart. I need a lot of help to build my site!

Tune in for the snail-slow progress at www.artartrevolution.com ! 

http://www.wired.com/politics/security/news/2008/04/spy_games

By Michael Peck 04.24.08 | 12:00 AM

A terrorist watches over a hostage in the DIA's Sudden Thrust game. No, you don't get to shoot him.
Courtesy Visual Purple LLC

In the wake of the intelligence bungles that propelled the United States into the Iraq war, it's no secret that the nation's spies have been working to improve the quality of their analysis. Now the top U.S. military intelligence agency has come up with a new tool for teaching recruits critical thinking skills: videogames.

The U.S. Defense Intelligence Agency has just taken delivery of three PC-based games, developed by simulation studio Visual Purple under a $2.6 million contract between the DIA and defense contractor Concurrent Technologies. The goal is to quickly train the next generation of spies to analyze complex issues like Islamic fundamentalism.

Given a choice between a droning classroom lecture or a videogame, the best method for teaching Generation Y was obvious. "It is clear that our new workforce is very comfortable with this approach," says Bruce Bennett, chief of the analysis-training branch at the DIA's Joint Military Intelligence Training Center.

Anti-terrorist forces land by helicopter in Sudden Thrust. The goal of the games is to focus players on epistemology.
Courtesy Visual Purple LLC

Wired.com had an opportunity to play all three games, Rapid Onset, Vital Passage and Sudden Thrust. The titles may conjure images of blitzkrieg, but the games themselves are actually a surprisingly clever and occasionally surreal blend of education, humor and intellectual challenge, aimed at teaching the player how to think.

All three games put the player into the shoes of a young, eager but sometimes hapless DIA analyst.

Read the full story...

Well we finally got on rant and all the little niggles appear to be sorted - the show is on the air, on a two hour time slot at both 22:00 on Fridays, and 16:00 on Tuesdays.

The wierd thing is, I seem to have achieved my main goal. A year ago when we started doing R4nger5 radio, My co-host, Graafen, and I were fantasizing about being on Rant, as being our ultimate goal. Now we are, it seems a little unreal.

However, managing all the enquiries, sourcing new music and new artists seems to be a pretty much full-time job - Lucky I don't have much of a social life - LOL

 We've had some really great feedback, and are now prepping episode 25.

I think we're beginning to get the hang of it now.......

Rgds

V

Are you in the market for a new mattress? If so, you need to realize that not every mattress is the same. In fact, you will find out soon enough that there is a large selection to choose from. It is very important to do your research before buying a mattress because this is what you will have to sleep on for the foreseeable future. You want to make sure that your mattress is comfortable, and of course, that it fits in your room as it should.

Here are several tips to keep in mind when shopping for a mattress:

1. For most people, price is a huge factor when shopping for a mattress. But remember, you are not going to get high quality if you purchase a mattress at the lower end of the price scale. This is not to say that all low cost mattresses are of poor quality, but remember that you get what you pay for. Discount mattresses may seem like a bargain on the surface, but in the long run this is not usually the case.

2. Comfort is very important when buying a mattress. You want to make sure that you lay on several options before you make a decision. In the past, manufacturers made consumers believe that firm mattresses were the only ones that were good for the back. While this is still true with some people, you should realize that you do not have to give up comfort for health. New cushioning materials are used in modern mattresses to ensure a high level of comfort.

3. Since mattresses are so expensive, you want to make sure that you purchase one that is durable. The best way to do this is to become familiar with the mattress materials that are known to last the longest. As a general rule of thumb, buy the highest quality mattress that you can afford.

4. Size and space are both very important. First off, you need to measure your bedroom to figure out what size mattress would fit. Obviously, a King mattress is the largest, but you may have a difficult time fitting this in your room. Additionally, consider the amount of space that you need. Are you going to be sleeping alone or with another person? You need to make sure that there is enough space for you to move around with bothering the other person in bed with you.

With these four details in mind, you will find it easy to choose the best mattress for your body, sleeping style, and bedroom.

How many people here would be interested in living in an earth ship?

It collects its own water. Powers itself from wind and the sun. Produces its own food. And treats its own sewage. The utility bill? $40.. per year.

And it's built from (mostly) junk.

Links:

- http://garbagewarrior.com

- http://earthship.org

When we get to the stage of putting barcodes on our materials, I want them to be cool like these.

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/04/04/japanese-creative-pa.html

Creative Japanese packaging designers at D-Barcode have come up with delightful ways of incorporating the UPC bar-codes into their products. Link, Link to Dark Roasted Blend roundup of creative barcodes (Thanks, Marilyn!)

<humor>

 Why are there so many men on this site and not many women? Am I the only one? 

 I think that people are naturally drawn to things with sex appeal. We've got to make fighting apathy sexy. We need to make dumpster diving, DIYing and flyering appealing. We need to make people fantasize about mutual aid and community-based political organizing. Girls need to come here because they want to meet smart, sassy partners(in crime) to work and be with! Why isn't being in control of your life sexy? How is hacking yourself not hot?

</humor>

Seriously, where the hell are all the girls? We need to figure out why this site has so many men and so few women. My gender does make up half of the world, but seems to barely exist here. Are the women scared off by the sheer fact that there aren't (m)any women? Quite possibly. All the techy hactivist stuff that little boys are taught as little girls often learn to sew and cook (even if they'd rather be fooling around with hard drives and whatnot)? Possibly. We need to look at this and fix it soon.

I just met author Bret Hughes at the Infoshop and he is a really interesting fellow with an excellent book called "Wisdom In Perspective" that you can read on Google Books.

It reminds me of Barbara Marx Hubbard's conscious evolution, another Santa Barbara local. Methinks the three of us should meet up some time and brainstorm how we might work together to advance our shared ideas.

I will shortly be deploying a WOG specifc writen language for those interested. This is a complete writing system, that I'd prefer to only be only deployed to WOGS. The entire system is glyphic in nature and based on a 10k year old dead language. The intent for this system is for fellow wogs to deploy, tag and mark "Hot spots" or key note areas in such a monor in which it will pass as casual Occult, or gang like markings. The idea here is to be able to communicate in a form that only we can communicate through. This will help us in situations where subversion, or communication is limited or in scenearios where communication needs to be secret. I will more then likely post it within this forum as a document, or perhaps present it as an email only option. Thos that are interested in this, let me know and I'll email it to you in its currnet state.

I've been lurking around for a couple months, time to finally get around and post something :)

I've had this thought for awhile now, that packaging for new items is very wasteful. Anyone who has bought something such as electronic equipment has probably noticed this. Example, buying a new router:

The router and all the different parts come in a box, the box is sealed in plastic shrink wrap. The router itself is in a little plastic bag, another bag is used for the LAN cable, another for the power cord, yet more for the packet of paperwork and install disk, as well as any other parts that are seperate from the main device (wireless antenna, clip on feet to stand it upright, etc). The outer shrink wrap makes sence to prevent water from getting inside and as an extra defence from theft or small parts falling out. But why does each and every part inside the box have to be individually bagged or wrapped?

All of this extra plastic creates so much unneeded waste that only ends up in landfills. It also uses up valuable resources that could be put to better use. I mentioned this to some friends of mine but they didn't seem to care one way or the other. The only real reaction I got was from a buddy who had worked at for an electronics store doing installs, and he bassically said "that's the way they've been doing it for years, it's not going to change."

I don't believe that this is something that will not change. Trouble is, I do not know where to start in order to beging working toward a change. So I thought I'd pose this idea to everyone on here. Does anyone agree that this is an issue worth looking into? And where would be a good place to start in order to make a change? Would writing state reps and/or senators be a start? Would writing to the companies who use wasteful tactics like this even begin to do any good?

I understand that some plastic packaging is useful, but there seems to be a lot of useless packaging being used and it could be doing more harm than good. 

Surfacing after a bit of emotional turmoil.

I've missed this place.

Really.

Hoping for not another false starter.

 I think iPhone apps could provide really powerful empowering augmented intelligence tools in the field. We use augmented intelligence tools every day: calendars, to-dos and sticky notes are all ways of augmenting our intelligence by reminding ourselves of things we've written down. Professionals such as doctors already use mobile apps to help them do their jobs by giving them quick access to their huge databases of medical information for things like medicine recognition and diagnosis. Apple is proposing a fitness system for the iPhone that helps you plan and execute exercises to meet your fitness goals. Instead of having an abstract wishy washy conception of what you ought to be doing in your head that you may or not follow, an augmented intelligence system gives you step-by-step suggestions to spur you onwards to next step after next step.

Empowerment for iPhone could do much more in my daily life than an EmpowerThyself web site that requires me to interrupt my day to use a computer. Let's just call it iPower for a second (I looked up other uses of iPower and there's a really cool iPower philosophy of activism being promoted through YouTube videos. I should learn more and contact them!). iPower could be with you throughout your day. You could use this to think of things to do and to get help doing things.

Any time you wanted to do something useful you could use iPower to see your mission list of things to do, skills to learn and tools to obtain. For example, I have some free time and I see I have a mission to learn to drive manual that requires a car and a teacher. I have both my car and my buddy Dave to teach me, so I begin that mission and I'm on my way to learning a new skill and accomplishing a goal.

When working on a mission you could use iPower to reference all your skills, ideas and tools to learn and review what you already learned to help you get things done. For example, I could review the Driving Manual skill to get some tips and watch some youtube videos so that I know about the basics before I start getting direct experience with my teacher in the car.

The implementation of an iPhone app could start simply by making a custom theme with a vastly simplified iPhone-style web app interface that would show just a single menu or info panel on the screen at a time with rapid sliding between screens.

Once we got the tools working reasonably well through the browser, it would be more powerful to develop a native iPower application. The native app would have the advantage of bein faster, using less battery power, and working when Internet access wasn't available, such as with an iPod Touch. It would sync back with EmpowerThyself.com all the changes the doer and the site made between syncing.

 
A newly published patent application reveals that Apple has been exploring the possibility of expanding their Nike + iPod sport kit into a full fledged fitness system.

The first segment of the interview process would poll the user on their fitness goals, desired activity level (moderate, advanced), fitness interests (such as jogging, pilates, and swimming), fitness goals (lose weight, firm and tone, and get back into shape), weight goals, desired workout schedule, and so forth.
....
Once the interview process is completed, the computer-based application would create a profile of the user and a workout regiment based around their feedback on goals and fitness interests. For instance, a user interested in weight training would be provided a work out schedule broken down into warmup cardio exercises and a weight training session comprised of sets, reps and weight levels.

The iPod or iPhone would then guide the user through their training, with the possibility of adding additional hardware sensors to track progress.

—http://www.macrumors.com/2008/03/27/apple-digital-fitness-companion-system/

My friend Jonah asked me if I had heard of http://www.antiapathy.org and looking at their very cool site led me to a site that tracks how many times people do a list of 100 suggested actions. Their #1 action is one that I also think is easy to promote far and wide: reusable shopping bags.

http://www.wearewhatwedo.org/actiontracker/action.php?action=1#vote

Hi there! It's been a while since I posted, but I'm still on board.

I've been working pretty hard on the radio show recently, and it appears to have paid off. I got a few e-mails from Cimmerian, over at Rant Media, and it looks like R4nger5 Radio is getting a slot, on RRtalk on Friday nights.

This is very cool.

I have been a fan of theirs for a few years, now, and it is great to get recognition from people you admire.

This is one of those high points, like when we got the nod to proceed with our 'tales from the afternow' project from Sean Kennedy, and when I got feedback from AP about the show.

All the hard work is starting to pay off.

So i haven't been watching TV or playing games. The show, and listener feedback have been what I've been doing with my spare time.

That and, interestingly, my company have been training me to be a technical trainer - lits of interesting teacher training and psychology skills to pass on to you guys, when I get a moment.

l8r

V 

I like mudpies because they make my bottom burble

but I don't care, they can all eat popsicle

http://bestuff.com/stuff/internet

I like the way the categories on the right expand automatically. It reminds me of stuff Apple has been doing on their pages with sidebar boxes.

There's an article on AppleInsider about how Jobs ensures Apple's successors for leadership by making sure all the leaders get involved in the full spectrum meeting, not just their own domains. I like the idea of making sure everyone gets involved in many areas of an organization so that if someone wants to take a break they don't feel enslaved to their responsibilities because no one else can do it as well.

In his discussion with Fortune, Jobs notes that top staff at the company meet every Monday to review the company's entire direction for the past week -- a practice not often seen at other companies, but one which the company co-founder says is essential to coordinating the larger company strategy and fostering independence among the others.

"When you hire really good people you have to give them a piece of the business and let them run with it," he says. "I want [them] making as good or better decisions than I would. So the way to do that is to have them know everything, not just in their part of the business, but in every part of the business."

The technique explains Jobs' confidence in finding a replacement should he ever leave. Echoing his remarks made on Tuesday at the annual shareholders' meeting, Jobs observes that there are multiple prime candidates for the top spot, particularly chief operating officer Tim Cook. Senior officials at Apple are reportedly skilled enough that there would be little risk. "Some people say, 'Oh, God, if [he] got run over by a bus, Apple would be in trouble," Jobs adds jokingly. "But there are really capable people at Apple."

He also uses this approach as justification for his at times legendary reputation for harsh criticism. Pushing employees to their limits improves them beyond what they thought possible of themselves, he says.

Trashof the Highest Variety

     A fifteen year oldboy wakes up on Christmas morning to a box covered in brand new wrappingpaper.  Tearing through the neatlycovered box, he sees the shiny box bearing the inscription Power Book G4.  But what of the old laptop, the one heso loved the previous months?  Thefact is that every year two years, there is a new model, operating system, andnew cased computer that is put out on the market.  Many people across the globe get the lastest system, with thethought that, now I have the best computer.  Sticking their old computer into the original box, they shipit off to a charity they want to help, or the company that sold it to them thatpromises to dispose of it properly. But very rarely do these companies recyclethem without producing harmful effects to the environment.

     For a large part ofour country, a lot of people have a lot of  concerns about whether we recycle or not.  They don’t believe that it is harmfulto the environment, but other countries do.  The European Union requires companies to safely disposeelectronic waste, but many tons still seem to slip by them. Other first worldnations are not aiding to the problem either.  China, a major manufacturer of electronic goods, issuffering the brunt of the electronics waste, and is putting much of the wasteinto landfills, which is affecting many of the locales health.  The reason for China’s problems is nothard to figure out. These laws created by the EU have only been in effect since1989, and China’s waste program has only been disposing of  electronics  properly since that time, although many of these people usethe dead circuit boards as a primary means of income, but that is proving to bea costly mistake.

     These developingnations are burning these harmful chemicals, because the motherboards carryvaluable metals such as gold, silver, and copper. The PBDE’s, or PolybrominatedDiphenyl ethers, are a flame retardant substance that many computer companiesuse in their products, and cause a number of health problems.  To name one of the effects, the PBDE’sare detrimental to the neuro-development by inhibiting proper blood flow.  But the PBDE’s are not the only harmfultoxins that effect these people. Lead, which is also used in the production of computer parts, is toxicto the kidneys’, and destroys the nervous and reproductive organs. It alsoeffects brain activity, even from a low exposure to the toxin.  When exposed to Cadmium (which is aprime component found in these computers) over long periods of time, can leadto serious bone damage. These activities are primarily performed through thesame Woks and cooking pots that the children and families are using to preparetheir meals (Carroll pg. 70)

       Less than twenty percent of allelectronics are being sent to companies, which advertise recycling, butpromoting fictitious plans.  Manycompanies, like the Goodwill organization, have denied outsourcing theirrecycling, even though computers with labels from their company have been foundin Acca, Ghana  (Carroll pg.69).  Upon further investigation, Ifound that many of the companies that advertise their recycling capabilities,were unwilling to discuss where their recycling facilities were, and when askedwhether they outsource their electronics to developing nations, a few statedthey had no comment.

     But stopping the flowof electronics waste to China will only exacerbate the problem for otherdeveloping nations.  India, Ghana,China, Pakistan, and countries all over Africa are receiving the electronicsrefuse from countries like Australia, Canada, The United States and NewZealand, which promotes to the rest of the world how environmentally involvedthey are.  We need to createproactive solutions in order to deal with the large amount of electronics thatare flooding our planet, like proper recycling systems.

     Since 1994, a companycalled Creative Recycling Systems, has sprung up in areas all over the SouthEast.  A company with awards fromvarious organizations like HIPPA, ISO, and the IAER, their goal is to create nowaste, and to supply the nationscompanies with a solution to this problem.  They also use a three million dollar recycling machine,which has been called “David” to deal with the “Goliath” of the problem ofe-waste. David works extremely well, and has already been in use in manyEuropean countries, as the standard for recycling in these countries isextremely high.  It can recycleanything, from computers to monitors, from cell phones to high definitiontelevisions (Carroll Pg. 73), and the air that comes out of the machine isfresher than the factory oxygen (Carroll Pg. 73).

   Other companies have sprung outof the mold, like Global NIS, which is in accordance with the CaliforniaElectronics Waste program, and disposes of all electronic items. They will evencome to your house to pick up your old electronics.

     These companies aredoing their part, but a larger effort must come from the consumers.  The Environmental Protection Agencymust employ standards for all recycling companies, otherwise the use ofCreative Recycling Solutions ideals will only make a dent in the large surfaceof the recycling problem.  Programslike the California Electronics Waste Program will go to waste, unlessawareness is brought to the attention of the public, that certain companies arenot in compliance.

     So when you get thatnew computer, with the shiny new case, and the latest operating, think a littlebit more about where your old computer will be sent.  Be bold, and help the environmental process along. I know Idon’t want the responsibility of a kid in China having lung defects because Ididn’t dispose of my computer properly, or because I didn’t take a stand whereit counts. Do you?

Forconsumers who want information on how to create change, go toempowerthyslef.com, and find out how to make a difference.

MLAREFERENCES

1. Carroll, Carroll. High Tech Trash. National Geographic Magazine. Jan. 2008. P. 67-74.

2. Wikipedia. Basel Convention 1989: BB Amendment. Wikipedia. 1989.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basel_Convention#Basel_Ban_Amendment

3. Endoctrineweb.com. How Your Thyroid Works. Norman Endocrine Surgery  Clinic. 1997-2005. http://www.endocrineweb.com/thyfunction.html

4. Wooddell, David. III Effects of E-Waste. National Geographic.

Feb 2008 http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/geopedia/EWaste#Ill%20Effects%20of%20E-Waste

5. Basel Action Network (BAN). Hall of Shame. Basel Action Network. 2008. http://ban.org/main/hall_of_shame.html

6. Greenpeace. Where does E-waste end up? Greenpeace. 2008

http://www.greenpeace.org/international/campaigns/toxics/electronics/where-does-e-waste-end-up

7. Creating Recycling Systems. About Creative Recycling Systems. Creative Recycling. 1994-2008. http://www.crserecycling.com/main.php?p=about

8. Global NIS. About Us. Global NIS. 2008. http://www.globalnis.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=50&Itemid=97

     I laid belly down against the cold gravelbed, arms akimbo, sweat pouring down my forehead as I looked at Johnny to say“Give me a kick when you know the train is leaving. I am brokenly tired.” Henodded so as not to arouse the suspicion of the railroad bull, who was lessthan ten feet away. I try to sleep, even though my heart is racing like arabbit across an open field, the hounds chasing after him, planning to tear hisguts out of the tender flesh that surrounds the fragile body. I feel this waybecause the bull, a policeman that is hired by the railroad company to makesure everything is within the law of the rail, is a few cars away. If we arecaught, he will beat us with a metal pipe that he finds in a scrap metal yard,as he screams at us to keep off the tracks, or the next time he’ll kill us. Hisdog will be tearing out jeans, as it rips into our flesh with his razor sharpteeth.

     The train ride to Arizona came at the lastminute, after Johnny had heard from Boston (one of the old cronies that hungout at the Promenade) that the peyote would be ripe for the picking this timeof the year. His plan was for us to catch the seven twenty bus out to UnionStation at ten fourty- five Pre-Menstrual, and find out which train left forTucson. We would catch it out, and just before we arrived at Tucson, we wouldjump off in the wilderness of the desert, where no one would be able to followus. The whole point of an inebriated journey is to just get lost.

     Johnny was ecstatic, but I was really justlooking forward to the half gallon of Bicardi Silver that was giving my back acomfortable chill. I put it safely between a pile of clothes and other essentialsI would need for the long ride through the night. I longed to be on the train,bottle to lips, as we waged through the desert heat, singing our heads off ofold rock n’ roll songs. Even in the middle of winter, desert days still allowedt-shirts and shorts to run freewheeled.

     I felt the kick, and we slid out fromunder the immobile car. We rapidly jumped to our quiet feet, trying our bestnot to give off any noise to the bull, who was standing – back faced to us –yammering away on his walkie-talkie. He didn’t even budge when we ran off.Sometimes you get lucky with a decrepit old bull.

     Bolting after a train that is onlyincreasing in speed is no easy task, especially when you have a seventy poundtramping pack strapped to your back. Johnny raced ahead of me, and tossed hispack onto the flat bed of the car, as he said in a still small voice “Move yourfucking ass!” I got close enough to toss my bag into the car, Johnny catchingit without even the slightest sign of fatigue. If he hadn’t of caught it, Iwould have been screwed, and would have made it back to the pit that exists inMalibu.

     Tired after only a few minutes of running,I felt the super human strength that comes after running past the breakingpoint, and with the strength of a cheetah, I lunged myself onto the flatbed ofthe car, just barely making enough of a leap to get half of my body in. Johnnypulled me in the rest of the way. We made it, and without giving the slightestinkling to the bull that there were two transients on his rail. I have knownmany others who were caught, and suffered the tutelage of the bull.

     My friend Eric was one of them. He wasriding from Tucson to Boulder one summer, and was pulled off of a rolling trainby an angry bull. “You tried to run like a rabbit, now you’re going to looklike one,” the bull said as he beat all but Eric’s front teeth out. He drinksall of his food these days. The medical expenses that were supposed to comefrom his tours in the military wouldn’t cover the replacement of his old teethfor old ones, a tough break for a soldier that served in Iraqi more than fouryears, for a country that he loved.

     At eighteen years old I was already on myway to having train adventures of extreme magnitude, grateful to be swigging ona bottle of booze, and laughing at my friends who were sitting at home,preparing themselves for the American dream that was already planned out forthem, whether they knew it or not. I kicked back on my sleeping bag, as Johnnyset up the primus stove for dinner, while describing to me when he lost hisvirginity to his stepsister Simone. I always thought it was creepy, but healways had a funny way of bringing you over to his side, making you believe, ifonly for a moment, that what he was doing was right. Even when we first startedusing heroin on the weekends, heconvinced me that it was a good idea.

     I scribbled primitive drawings into mysketchbook, flashlight protruding from my mouth, not worrying about stayingwarm. The gin which was in a consistent up down flow towards my lips was doingme just fine. I sat on the tattered sleeping bag, which had been handed downthrough the generations. My great-grandfather may have even brought it over onthe boat from England when he first came to this great land, but I’m not sure.

     The smells that ululated through theboxcar were toxic monoxides and other resonating pollutants from the LosAngeles air. They set off my asthma, causing me to hack up phlegm of the redvariety, but I didn’t care. I was ready for anything, and after a few minutes,the hacking stopped. I guess the gin was good for a lot more than I thought, asit was giving my throat and lungs a healthy coat.

     We both sat around the primus stove ateleven thirty with every ounce of clothing on so that we wouldn’t wake up sickin the morning. These cars get extremely drafty, especially at night, so anywind was coming in whether we liked it or not. At least the stove stayed lit,as our refried beans cooked on the blue flame protruding from the metalcylinder, the half-gallon heating us from the inside out. A friend of mine toldme before I got on the train, that a friend of hers got onto a car without theproper clothing, and froze to death from frostbite.

     The primus stove finally heated up the twocans of beans, and we ate hearty, ripping insidious farts, and laughing all theway. Santa Claus had nothing on our laughter, ho, ho, ho! Johnny even managedto get a bag of herbs, so we could stay lifted the entire trip. Even when hewas completely slammed, Johnny managed to think ahead

     After a restful nights sleep, over eighthours, we were bearing closer to Tucson. Johnny was already mending from thefreezing night, and basking in the radiant sun, skulling back the half drunkenbottle of liquor, Marlboro sticking out of the side of his mouth as hescratched his dirt stained pants. “If this isn’t living youngster, than I’drather be dead,” he said as he put the bottle down in between his legs, andtook a long drag off of his cigarette, and in one swift movement, he flickedthe stoge into the air, smoke catching to the wind as he smiled his grizzlysmile.

     We both sat at the opening of the car,legs dangling as we sang fragmented versions of purple haze, dazed andconfused, and war pigs. Johnny sparked up a fat one, as I pulled the primusstove closer to me to start up on an extravagant oatmeal breakfast. We ate, andjust as we finished breakfast, a sign came lunging at us, bearing theinscription:

                                                WELCOMETUCSON

                                                       CITYLIMITS

     Quickly, we gathered up all the gear, and drove it intoour sacks. Jumping off  the trainalmost broke my ankle in half, but luckily my mom had always told me that milkhelped build strong bones from a young age. I still believe it to be true, andupon checking my ankle, everything was fine.

     When I turned around, Johnny disappeared.I turned again, and the desert was gone. I woke up from the dream.

     It’s been eight years since Johnnyoverdosed, the same day that my mother threw me out of the house, with nothingbut a backpack full of clothes, and my dreams of grandeur about my destinedtravels of N, S, E, W. A hot shot of heroin at twenty-two must have done thetrick.

     The truth is, is that we never made toArizona. We never made it out of Los Angeles County. The furthest we ever gotto was the alley behind the Smart n’ Final, a box of Franzia wine to our lips,as we had talks about the trips we were going to take. We even made lists of all the gear we would need on the blanksides of the boxes of wine we drank from. But somehow, they were just out ofour reach. The fizzy lifting’s of life had us in it’s grip.

     The last time that I saw Johnny was at anRKL show at the Lush. Before the show, he shaved my head into a Mohawk, tossingback a bottle of Wild Turkey, as white riot played in the background. We gotinto the club with a couple of wristbands that a guy slid to us as he wasleaving, and we made it in without the slightest inkling of judgment from thebouncer. We drank through the whole show off of the sixty dollars that I stolefrom my mothers purse, as I snuck out of the house that afternoon.

     We left the bar so tossed that a randompunker gave us some strength as a crutch to Johnnies old beater. We both cameto in the first a.m’s, and Johnny gave me ride home. He was found dead in hisapartment the next day by his girlfriend.

     That night I had the boxcar dream, andwhen approached with writing about a memorable event in my life, I couldn’tthink of a better way to write about my dead friend. I have taken a lot ofcement looks at my life before sobriety happened to me. Hitchhiking around thecountry, dangerous rides with strangers, drunken bouts in forest, jail barsslamming behind me, and multiple friends dying from a disease that almostkilled me. These thing’s, along with the tools I have learned to live a betterlife, have held my sobriety in tact, and have allowed me to live the life thatmy friends can’t. I honor Johnny’s death, as well as thedeath of all the others, by waking up another day sober and present in thelives of my friends and family’s.

Will 2/2 and I just got a bunch of flowers from Marsh while we were dumperster diving.  Does anyone want a flower?!?!?!

The meeting is at 229 fulton st., indianapolis in, 46202

The meeting starts at 5:00

we'll be adressing the following:

1. dumpster diving

2. revolution

3. freedom

4. civil disobedience

5. the protest on march 29th

6. banner drops prior to protest

7. any ideas following the protest (freedom of middle earth maybe? i think that would be pretty rad!)